Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day (2014)

IMDb plot summary: Alexander's day begins with gum stuck in his hair, followed by more calamities. However, he finds little sympathy from his family and begins to wonder if bad things only happen to him.

Directed by Miguel Arteta. Starring Steve Carell, Jennifer Garner, and Ed Oxenbould.

Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day is a full length children's feature film based extremely loosely on the picture book of the same name. To expand this story out to an hour and a half, we tell the story of how Alexander is having struggles and is irritated with his family's optimism, so he makes a birthday wish that they all have terrible days. Then the whole family has a terrible day, and he has to be the one to be optimistic for them. I just watched a string of pretty decent kids films that were entertaining even if clearly not made for me. This is not one of those. This one is for kids and only for kids. The jokes are juvenile and the relationships are unrelatable for adults. It does have a nice message about balancing positivity with acknowledging that sometimes things are just difficult, and that's a good message to send to children. But it's absolutely not made with anyone beyond its target audience in mind and never really reaches beyond that. So since I'm not a child and do not have children, all I can say is it's not for me.

How it entered my Flickchart:

Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day < The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King

Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day < Goldfinger

Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day > Cocktail

Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day > The Blue Dahlia

Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day < Davy Crockett, King of the Wild Frontier

Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day < The Westing Game

Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day < Toys

Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day < Robots

Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day > Life With Father

Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day < Predator

Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day > X-Men: The Last Stand

Final spot: #3115 out of 3846, or 19%.

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (2017)

IMDb plot summary: A dark force threatens Alpha, a vast metropolis and home to species from a thousand planets. Special operatives Valerian and Laureline must race to identify the marauding menace and safeguard not just Alpha, but the future of the universe.

Directed by Luc Besson. Starring Dane DeHaan, Cara Delevingne, and Clive Owen.

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets is a sci-fi story set centuries in the future when interstellar travel is common. We follow law enforcement officer Valerian and his partner as they try to track down a smuggled artifact that may belong to a mysterious world Valerian's been dreaming about with no official record. Watching this made me want to go back and give The Fifth Element another shot, because this is what I wanted Fifth Element to be -- big and silly and a world that feels so chock full of characters and worlds that I'll never possibly get a chance to see all of them in this film. Its sense of humor every so often gets perhaps a bit *too* silly, but it doesn't feel too disparate against these bright, fun visuals. I would happily watch an entire series set in this world. Sci-fi and fantasy too often portray the same kinds of alien creatures over and over again, and I loved how fresh and creative a lot of these characters felt, especially in combination with each other. A big bold fun attempt even when its big risks don't quite land.

How it entered my Flickchart:

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets > The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets < Key Largo

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets > Nobody’s Fool

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets < Waking Ned Devine

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets > A Tale of Two Sisters

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets > Nine to Five

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets < What’s Eating Gilbert Grape

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets > The Polka King

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets > Death By Hanging

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets > The French Dispatch

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets < The Shoes of the Fisherman

Final spot: #1234 out of 3840, or 68%.

Henry V (1944)

IMDb plot summary: In the midst of the Hundred Years' War, the young King Henry V of England embarks on the conquest of France in 1415.

Directed by Laurence Olivier. Starring Laurence Olivier, Robert Newton, and Leslie Banks.

Henry V is a 1940s adaptation of the Shakespeare play of the same name, starring Laurence Olivier as King Henry. The plot is a pretty straightforward war story, but it's the set design and technical details that set this one apart. The first act is set up as if it is a filmed live performance within Shakespeare's Globe Theater itself, complete with audience reactions to the jokes and occasional glimpses of backstage shenanigans. However as the story goes on, the sets become more and more realistic and leave that gimmick behind. I almost wish that it had spent the entire movie in that gimmick because it was by far the most interesting piece of it. Granted, I'll admit that I really don't like this play very much to begin with; I find it tedious and with nothing for me to grab onto narratively. Because of that, it was exciting for me to initially see a unique take on it. And the entire film is steeped in these gorgeous Technicolor designs and Hughes that absolutely makes it beautiful to look at. It's probably just my own fault that this is not the show to win me over, but I did love looking at those sets and costumes.

How it entered my Flickchart:

Henry V < The Blues Brothers

Henry V > Beauty and the Bestie

Henry V < No Highway in the Sky

Henry V > Follow Thru

Henry V > Rancho Notorious

Henry V < Adventures in Babysitting

Henry V < Hal King (what an interesting combo there)

Henry V > Double Jeopardy

Henry V > Nowhere Boy

Henry V < Mud

Henry V < Buffalo Soldiers

Henry V < Marry Me

Final spot: #2492 out of 3832, or 35%.

Memories of Murder (2003)

IMDb plot summary: In a small Korean province in 1986, two detectives struggle with the case of multiple young women being found raped and murdered by an unknown culprit.

Directed by Bong Joon Ho. Starring Song Kang-ho, Kim Sang-kyung, and Kim Roe-ha.

Memories of Murder is a Bong Joon Ho movie from South Korea, based on loosely an actual string of murders committed in the country that went for years without being solved. (Interestingly, the killer confessed to the murders after this movie came out, and I believe I even read that he had indeed seen the movie, so that's a weird fact.) The story centers primarily on the police who are trying to track down this killer, and how easy they find it to do terrible things like torture suspects and plant evidence that will lead to a conviction even if they know that it's not accurate. Like many of Bong’s movies I found myself having to go look this one up after I was finished with it to help me process how it ended. It's in many ways a typical crime procedural, but the casualness of the police cruelty really builds to a an unsettling climax in the final scenes. It's not the kind of story that I typically seek out but I think it is well told and I think Bong Joon Ho is a master at his craft, so it's no surprise that this is a really well crafted film. I wonder if I return to it after a little time if it will have a stronger impact on me, because even after just one viewing I can feel the weight that this story can carry with it.

How it entered my Flickchart:

Memories of Murder > The Blues Brothers

Memories of Murder < Dark Passage

Memories of Murder > The Tragedy of Macbeth

Memories of Murder > Corrina, Corrina

Memories of Murder < Nerve

Memories of Murder < The Faculty

Memories of Murder < Wonder Man

Memories of Murder < A Bug’s Life

Memories of Murder < The Vanishing

Memories of Murder < Seven Chances

Memories of Murder < The Country Girl

Memories of Murder < Waking Ned Devine

Final spot: #1203 out of 3848, or 69%.

Woman in Gold (2015)

IMDb plot summary: Maria Altmann, an octogenarian Jewish refugee, takes on the Austrian government to recover artwork she believes rightfully belongs to her family.

Directed by Simon Curtis. Starring Helen Mirren, Ryan Reynolds, and Daniel Brühl.

Woman in Gold stars Helen Mirren as an Austrian refugee fighting to reclaim family heirlooms stolen by Nazis decades earlier and Ryan Reynolds as the young lawyer who decides to represent her. This is based on a real-life case, and the actual facts are much more interesting than the standard biopic treatment this gets. The script and all the story beats are pretty well telegraphed from early on. I did however find a lot to latch on to in the acting. Helen Mirren is, of course, always excellent, and here she does an excellent job balancing the raging emotion and the calm decisive action of the character. And I'm reminded that I really enjoy Ryan Reynolds as a dramatic actor. He brings an earnest charisma to his role here as a young lawyer who is out of his depth but really wants to do the right thing. So we do have two good performances in a pretty mediocre movie. Possibly worth watching, but possibly also worth just reading about the story yourself and skipping the movie adaptation.

How it entered my Flickchart:

Woman in Gold < The Blues Brothers

Woman in Gold > Prince Caspian and the Voyage of the Dawn Treader

Woman in Gold > Outbreak

Woman in Gold < The King and I

Woman in Gold > Little Norse Prince

Woman in Gold > Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire

Woman in Gold > Skylark

Woman in Gold > Wind River

Woman in Gold > Hercules

Woman in Gold > Blue’s Big Musical Movie

Woman in Gold > Avengers: Infinity War

Final spot: #2166 out of 3847, or 44%.

Theater Camp (2023)

IMDb plot summary: The eccentric staff of a rundown theater camp in upstate New York must band together with the beloved founder's bro-y son to keep the camp afloat.

Directed by Molly Gordon and Nick Lieberman. Starring Ben Platt, Molly Gordon, and Noah Galvin.

Theatre Camp is a mockumentary about a summer theater program for children. The beloved founder of the camp has had some unexpected health difficulties and her son is attempting to run the summer program in her absence, despite having no idea what he is doing. We follow a series of different subplots trying to make all the summer shows come together. As someone who works in educational theater and has had quite a few of her own summer theater camp experiences, this absolutely works for me. The jokes nearly all land, and yet the theater kid in me is still drawn into the sentimentality of theater being the thing that changes people. I laughed out loud several times during this, but it also absolutely reminded me why I love this art form so much and how magical it can be working on that with a group of young enthusiastic actors. But also it's just a funny and entertaining movie. I think it would also be entertaining even for folks who are not involved in the theater world at all. The characters are still entertaining, the arcs are still enjoyably silly, and even a lot of the theater in-jokes are structured in such a way that the gist of the joke would get across to even the folks unfamiliar with it. Definitely a delightful watch.

How it entered my Flickchart:

Theater Camp > The Blues Brothers

Theater Camp > The Heart is a Lonely Hunter

Theater Camp < Tucker and Dale vs. Evil

Theater Camp < Spencer

Theater Camp > Shiva Baby

Theater Camp > Au Revoir Les Enfants

Theater Camp > The Incredibles

Theater Camp > Atonement

Theater Camp > The Bumblebee Flies Anyway

Theater Camp > Raya and the Last Dragon

Theater Camp > Onward

Final spot: #720 out of 3838, or 81%.

Whitney Houston: I Wanna Dance with Somebody (2022)

IMDb plot summary: A joyous, emotional, heartbreaking celebration of the life and music of Whitney Houston, one of the greatest female R&B pop vocalists of all time, tracking her journey from obscurity to musical super stardom.

Directed by Kasi Lemmons. Starring Naomi Ackie, Stanley Tucci, and Ashton Sanders.

Whitney Houston: I Wanna Dance With Somebody is a musical biopic of Whitney Houston's musical career. It follows her from her early breakthrough, to her relationship with Bobby Brown, to her substance abuse issues, to her untimely death. The music numbers all use Houston's original vocals with actress Naomi Ackie lip syncing along to them. Like so many biopics, this tries so hard to fit every aspect of Houston's life in that it fails a little bit as a narrative because it can't quite cohere them into something with a thematic throughline. And of course that's because life itself doesn't have a thematic throughline, but it still makes me wish I'd watched a documentary about Houston's life rather than this somewhat lifeless interpretation of her work. In fact, it did the one thing that a good documentary about Houston's life should absolutely do, which was make me want to go and actually listen to Houston's music. There's a not a lot to be gained from dramatizing it the way it is here. It's a harmless biopic primarily but it's also an uninteresting one.

How it entered my Flickchart:

Whitney Houston: I Wanna Dance with Somebody < The Blues Brothers

Whitney Houston: I Wanna Dance with Somebody > Prince Caspian and the Voyage of the Dawn Treader

Whitney Houston: I Wanna Dance with Somebody < Outbreak

Whitney Houston: I Wanna Dance with Somebody > Follow Thru

Whitney Houston: I Wanna Dance with Somebody > Teacher of the Year

Whitney Houston: I Wanna Dance with Somebody < Adventures in Babysitting

Whitney Houston: I Wanna Dance with Somebody > Red Notice

Whitney Houston: I Wanna Dance with Somebody < V/H/S

Whitney Houston: I Wanna Dance with Somebody > The Man Who Came to Dinner

Whitney Houston: I Wanna Dance with Somebody < The Kid Who Would be King

Whitney Houston: I Wanna Dance with Somebody < Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World

Whitney Houston: I Wanna Dance with Somebody < Coraline

Final spot: #2479 out of 3836, or 35%.