Up the River (1930)

IMDb plot summary: When paroled trustee Steve and former inmate Judy who try to put their criminal lives behind them are blackmailed, two career criminals come to their rescue.

Directed by John Ford. Starring Spencer Tracy, Claire Luce, and Warren Hymer.

Up the River is a 1930 movie starring a very young Spencer Tracy and Humphrey Bogart, among others, as convicts either paroled or escaped and trying to make their way in the outside world. I kind of hoped that the big name stars would help me hold interest in the story, but for the most part it still didn't. I had to look over the Wikipedia synopsis while writing this review to remind me of any of the actual details of the plot, and even then they're pretty fuzzy. The parts that are most interesting are the ones involving Humphrey Bogart and the romance he strikes up with one of the inmates in the women's prison, and how that changes once he is released on parole. But the plot is spread thin among other characters and it all ends up feeling kind of disjointed.

How it entered my Flickchart:

Up the River < Bad Education

Up the River < Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex...

Up the River > Epic

Up the River > Send Me No Flowers

Up the River < The Secret of My Success

Up the River < Jake's Women

Up the River < VeggieTales: Larry-Boy! & the Fib from Outer Space!

Up the River < The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants

Up the River < Shrek 2

Up the River < Lincoln

Up the River < Ip Man

Up the River > Basic Instinct

Final spot: #3073 out of 3784, or 19%.

The War (1994)

IMDb plot summary: A Vietnam veteran helps his kids battle over a tree house while recovering from his traumatic war experience.

Directed by Jon Avnet. Starring Elijah Wood, Kevin Costner, and Mare Winningham.

The War stars Elijah Wood as a young boy and Kevin Costner as his veteran father who can't seem to get his life pulled together after coming home from the war. The story primarily follows the conflicts that arise from the boy wanting to get violent revenge on his bullies and the father absolutely abhorring any kind of physical violence now. While this could be a well-told story, this version of it just kind of... sits there. Costner is often named as being a bad actor, but he's had his good moments through his career, and he's not *bad* here so much as just uninspired. Wood has been much better in other "sad child" up to this point and also feels like he's phoning in most of the emotional beats. The most engaging moments come from the subplot focusing on our narrator, who despite being the narrator is relegated to a background character much of the time, and it's a shame because her story is told more effectively than the rest. It's one of those films that it's hard to scrounge up enough to say about it.

How it entered my Flickchart:

The War < Bad Education

The War > Pepito and the Magic Lamp

The War > Adam

The War < Steamboat Bill, Jr.

The War > Incredibles 2

The War < The Jerk

The War < Camelot

The War < The Love Bug

The War < Mother, Jugs & Speed

The War < Do You Like Hitchcock?

The War < Company (2011)

The War < The Year Without a Santa Claus

Final spot: #2246 out of 3783, or 41%.

The Secret of Nikola Tesla (1980)

IMDb plot summary: Life and times of Nikola Tesla, famous scientist whose inventions were stolen, but whose greatest contribution to mankind remain a mystery to this day.

Directed by Krsto Papic. Starring Petar Bozovic, Orson Welles, and Oja Kodar.

The Secret of Nikola Tesla is a biopic-style depiction of Nikola Tesla's battles to get his method of alternating electric current widely accepted. It focuses primarily on Thomas Edison's attempts to discredit him so he could remain the sole discoverer of electricity. The actual story being told is by far the most interesting part of this movie. Most of it feels cheap and low-budget in a way that is occasionally endearing but usually kind of distracting. The dialogue is clunky and overly expositional and feels more like an educational film than anything intended to be a narrative piece. I was genuinely surprised when Orson Welles showed up because it just didn't seem like the kind of movie that would ever make it into Welles' path. I do think we are overdue for a really good movie about Tesla, especially as he has gained so much popularity as a historical figure in the past decade or so, but this one isn't the one we've been looking for. 

How it entered my Flickchart:

The Secret of Nikola Tesla < The Chronicles of Narnia: The Silver Chair (1990)

The Secret of Nikola Tesla > Pepito and the Magic Lamp

The Secret of Nikola Tesla > Adam

The Secret of Nikola Tesla < Take Me Out to the Ball Game

The Secret of Nikola Tesla < The Year Without a Santa Claus

The Secret of Nikola Tesla < Aladdin (1992)

The Secret of Nikola Tesla < Fun Size

The Secret of Nikola Tesla > Call Me By Your Name

The Secret of Nikola Tesla < Tulpan

The Secret of Nikola Tesla > Jezebel

The Secret of Nikola Tesla < The Rocky Horror Picture Show

The Secret of Nikola Tesla < Wild Zero

Final spot: #2345 out of 3782, or 38%.

The Menu (2022)

IMDb plot summary: A young couple travels to a remote island to eat at an exclusive restaurant where the chef has prepared a lavish menu, with some shocking surprises.

Directed by Mark Mylod. Starring Ralph Fiennes, Anya Taylor-Joy, and Nicholas Hoult.

The Menu takes place over one evening in the kind of high-level dining establishment that people wait in line to get into for years, if they ever get in at all. Ralph Fiennes plays the head chef putting forth his new avant-garde menu, and Anya Taylor-Joy plays an obsessed foodie's much less interested date, and they are the centerpieces around which the story is told as the menu takes a darker turn. This is far from a subtle satire, but I had a great time with it nonetheless. It's a fun, gruesome take on class warfare and art that becomes so abstract it erases humanity. It also latched onto the vibe of a really fun slasher movie, where you know the killer IS going to strike again, it's just a matter of trying to guess who and how and when. I also have to give a quick shoutout to Nicholas Hoult, who is always good but who absolutely nails it as the obnoxious fan fawning over Fiennes' every move. And, of course, I have to praise the cinematography, which focuses on the food (in all its various forms) in a way that really taps into the smell and taste senses that can be so difficult to convey in film. I enjoyed this one a lot.

How it entered my Flickchart:

The Menu > Bad Education

The Menu < Elf

The Menu > Cafe Society

The Menu > Date Night

The Menu > The Secret Garden (1987)

The Menu > Beyond the Sea

The Menu > Wild Hearts Can't Be Broken

The Menu < Till Death

The Menu > A Room With a View

The Menu > The Palm Beach Story

The Menu > Tower

Final spot: #961 out of 3781, or 75%.

The Fallout (2021)

IMDb plot summary: High schooler Vada navigates the emotional fallout she experiences in the wake of a school tragedy. Relationships with her family, friends and view of the world are forever altered.

Directed by Megan Park. Starring Jenna Ortega, Maddie Ziegler, and Niles Fitch.

The Fallout centers around a group of high school students who survived a school shooting by huddling together in one of the bathrooms, showing the ways they deal with that trauma in the following days. The student we follow most is played by Jenna Ortega, and she's absolutely incredible in this role. It's so hard to watch her try to hold things together any way she can but so easy to understand why she's acting the way she does. The other actors in smaller roles are also beautifully cast and directed, showing all the different ways this kind of traumatic experience can manifest in people. It's one of those slow-growing films where all of a sudden I find myself tearing up -- in this case, it was at the scene where she goes hiking with her father and the two of them are finally able to open up about their fears. This story, sadly, only gets more and more relevant with each week as the tide of American mass shootings goes unchecked, and movies like this that show the effect it can have on our kids will continue to be necessary.

How it entered my Flickchart:

The Fallout > Bad Education

The Fallout > Elf

The Fallout > Six Degrees of Separation

The Fallout < Deathtrap

The Fallout < Before Sunset

The Fallout < Boyz 'N the Hood

The Fallout < The Devil's Backbone

The Fallout > Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation

The Fallout < La Strada

The Fallout < Knives Out

The Fallout > Marriage Story

The Fallout > Village of the Damned

Final spot: #454 out of 3780, or 88%.