Sunday, October 9, 2016

Don't Touch If You Ain't Prayed (2005)


IMDb plot summary: After saving herself for marriage, a forty year old Christian woman finally meets her soul mate. But her hopes sour once she finds out this candidate carries extra baggage.
Directed by Larry Flash Jenkins. Starring Ce Ce Peniston, Randy Brooks, Anica Barbosa, and Larry Flash Jenkins.

Oh, this is awful, both as a movie and as a Christian movie. Our main character is whiny and pessimistic. When one of her sidekicks tells her, "The Pamela I know is a fighter," I almost laughed out loud because that was so contrary to the character we'd been shown. On top of that, the movie has a very odd point of view on marriage and divorce for what is otherwise a typical Christian movie. The technical aspects are incredibly amateurish, with the dialogue barely audible over the cheesy R&B soundtrack and many shots cutting off the top of actors' heads. This is just a mess all round.

0.5 stars.

How it entered my Flickchart:
Don't Touch If You Ain't Prayed < Music Within
Don't Touch If You Ain't Prayed < The Last Temptation of Christ
Don't Touch If You Ain't Prayed < The Art of War
Don't Touch If You Ain't Prayed < Captain January
Don't Touch If You Ain't Prayed < The Matrix Revolutions
Don't Touch If You Ain't Prayed > The Game Plan
Don't Touch If You Ain't Prayed < Prince of Space
Don't Touch If You Ain't Prayed > The Mask
Don't Touch If You Ain't Prayed > Mr. Deeds
Don't Touch If You Ain't Prayed < Bee Season

Final spot: #2464 out of 2518.

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