An Easter Carol (2004)

Eh, I've seen better Veggie movies. It got rather hokey at times, although I did enjoy Rebecca St. James' accent and the "Boids" song (a tribute to The Music Man's "Rock Island", perhaps?). But I wouldn't own it or anything. 2 stars.

Gidget (1959)

*blink* Goodness. A surfer movie. Haven't seen many of those, actually. I think my parents generally shielded me from them, and this must be why. This movie had like... three seconds of anything actually interesting to watch. The rest of the time I amused myself by laughing at the whole thing. I mean, really, HOW can you take a movie seriously when its leading man goes by "Moondoggie"? Come on now... 1 star.

The Glass Menagerie (1973)

Reading a play is never quite as fulfilling as seeing it on stage. However, since there are no performances of The Glass Menagerie anywhere around, I was willing to settle for a movie production of it...and I was not disappointed. A dark play, after Tennessee Williams' style, it delves very carefully into issues such as hopes and expectations, a fear of growing old, the yearning to be something more... All four cast members put in superb performances and made their characters incredibly real. This goes on my list of great movies, definitely. 4 stars.

Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie (1996)

Although this is not one of the great sporkings the MST3K crew has done, it's definitely not one of their bad ones either. Several moments made me laugh out loud. The in-between bits are also great, from the opening where Crow tries to tunnel through outer space, to the ending where everyone laughs heartily at a piece of terrible news before realizing they shouldn't be laughing. If you've never seen Mystery Science Theater 3000, but you like making fun of bad movies, or, if you're like me, sitting around listening to wittier people do so, this is a great one to watch. Good intro to the TV show or addition for those who already fans. 4 stars.

Barefoot in the Park (1967)

Neil Simon's dialogue is as snappy as ever in this film adaptation of his play. Robert Redford and Jane Fonda both are well suited to it, and manage to create characters who are fascinating to watch interact, in all their idiosyncrasies and unexpected connection to each other. By the end, as everything comes to a head, we do want to see these two smooth out their rough past. Although this is not a perfect movie by any stretch of the imagination -- some plot points seem awkward and unnecessary -- there are some near-perfect moments, such as when Redford first gets a glimpse of the home which they are to share. He goes around discovering everything that is wrong with it, despite Fonda's attempt to put a good face on it. Definitely worth watching once. 3.5 stars.

Cyrano de Bergerac (2008)

One of the greatest love stories ever, destroyed by one person. Most of the cast is quite good. Daniel Sunjata's Christian is sufficiently fluffy for us to believe his character. Kevin Kline, although he occasionally appears to be uncharacteristically (for Cyrano) mocking himself, is very charming in the title role. The translation used is not my personal favorite, and some of my favorite monologues have been chopped in half, but the overall beauty of the story and the language is still kept intact. However, the instant Jennifer Garner opens her mouth, all illusion is lost. She speaks all her lines as an obvious theater "newb," making bizarre theatrical gestures that do not in the least complement the lines, and overenunciating each word with the painstaking awkwardness of someone in a middle school production. Her voice is distractingly unsuited to the classical poetic sound of the story. She may be able to pass as an actress on screen, but on stage, where all camera magic and re-takes are stripped away, she is painfully exposed as having very little to offer. There is no reason either Christian or Cyrano should pine for the love of this bizarre, flailing Roxanne who insert soap opera inflections into each line. If only someone more able had been cast in this role, this would have been a very rewatchable version of my beloved story. 2 stars.

Cyrano de Bergerac (2005)

There was not a lot of music worth paying attention to in here. I like opera, but this was less than fabulous. However, Roberto Alagna sang his part marvelously and the story is still one of the best love stories ever to grace the stage or screen, so I give it a gracious medium rating. Other versions of the story are probably worth seeing instead, however. 2.5 stars.