The Lair of the White Worm (1988)

IMDb plot summary: When an archeologist uncovers a strange skull in foreign land, the residents of a nearby town begin to disappear, leading to further unexplainable occurrences.
Directed by Ken Russell. Starring Amanda Donohoe, Hugh Grant, Catherine Oxenberg, and Peter Capaldi.

This is exactly what you would expect from a movie called "The Lair of the White Worm." It is ridiculous and campy and ludicrous but also pretty darn fun. I enjoyed seeing very young Hugh Grant and Peter Capaldi. The enjoyably cheesy gothic dialogue really brought the whole thing home for me. A fun watch, though I'm not sure I could ever call it a *good* movie as much as just an entertaining one.

How it entered my Flickchart:
The Lair of the White Worm > Incredibles 2
The Lair of the White Worm < Dredd
The Lair of the White Worm < Death to Smoochy
The Lair of the White Worm > Finding Forrester
The Lair of the White Worm > The Prestige
The Lair of the White Worm > Monsters and Men
The Lair of the White Worm < Good Time
The Lair of the White Worm > Frances Ha
The Lair of the White Worm > A Fistful of Dollars
The Lair of the White Worm < Hamlet (1990)
Final spot: #1129 out of 2936.

Holiday (2018)

IMDb plot summary: A love triangle featuring the trophy girlfriend of a petty drug lord, caught up in a web of luxury and violence in a modern dark gangster tale set in the beautiful port city of Bodrum on the Turkish Riviera.
Directed by Isabella Eklöf. Starring Victoria Carmen Sonne, Lai Yde, Thijs Römer, and Michiel de Jong.

This is a difficult review to write, because objectively, this movie does most things well. It creates our main character and the difficult situation she's in with minimal dialogue and great acting, but I just don't feel myself gripped by it, not even in the more intense moments of the movie. It's a film I admire from a distance but feel nothing about, even though it's hard to actually come up with anything negative to say about it.

How it entered my Flickchart:
Holiday < Logan
Holiday > Braveheart
Holiday > How I Live Now
Holiday < Blade Runner
Holiday > The Giver
Holiday > My Big Fat Greek Wedding
Holiday > The Whistleblower
Holiday > Despicable Me
Holiday > In Time
Holiday > The Milagro Beanfield War
Final spot: #1654 out of 2935.

Invictus (2009)

IMDb plot summary: Nelson Mandela, in his first term as the South African President, initiates a unique venture to unite the apartheid-torn land: enlist the national rugby team on a mission to win the 1995 Rugby World Cup.
Directed by Clint Eastwood. Starring Morgan Freeman, Matt Damon, Tony Kgoroge, and Patrick Mofokeng.

This is an interesting genre hybrid we don't see too often: a political/sports movie. It was also kind of fascinating to watch 10 years after it came out when it feels like my country is also spectacularly fractured (though obviously not to the extent or for the reasons that we see here) -- seeing anything uniting a fractured country through compassion and forgiveness gives me hope. And tying that into people's love for sport almost made me care about the outcome of the Big Sports Game! Almost. It didn't come together quite as much as I wanted it to in the end, but the lead-up to it was more interesting than I anticipated.

How it entered my Flickchart:
Invictus > Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
Invictus < Rock of Ages
Invictus < Death to Smoochy
Invictus > No eres tu, soy yo
Invictus < The Prestige
Invictus > Pitch Perfect 2
Invictus < Lucky Number Slevin
Invictus < To Be or Not to Be
Invictus < Moonwalker
Invictus > The Chalk Garden
Invictus > Spider-Man: Homecoming
Invictus > Meet John Doe
Final spot: #1232 out of 2934.

Captive State (2019)

IMDb plot summary: Set in a Chicago neighborhood nearly a decade after an occupation by an extra-terrestrial force, Captive State explores the lives on both sides of the conflict - the collaborators and dissidents.
Directed by Rupert Wyatt. Starring John Goodman, Ashton Sanders, Jonathan Majors, and Vera Farmiga.

This is somehow the most tedious alien invasion action thriller I've ever seen. And it's not because nothing happens -- there are chase scenes and fight scenes and there's intrigue, but it somehow all happens under an extremely bland umbrella. Every actor seems to be phoning it in, including John Goodman, who can be excellent but is just as bland as everyone else here. Even its big dramatic twist ending is extremely underwhelming and seems to be drowning in tonal drudgery.

How it entered my Flickchart:
Captive State < Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
Captive State > Lincoln
Captive State < How I Live Now
Captive State < Boys Don't Cry
Captive State > The Toy That Saved Christmas
Captive State < Twist of Faith
Captive State < I, Robot
Captive State < Les Miserables (1935)
Captive State < Frankenstein
Captive State > Fun Size
Captive State > Defending Your Life
Captive State < Wind River
Final spot: #2104 out of 2933.

Captain Marvel (2019)

IMDb plot summary: Carol Danvers becomes one of the universe's most powerful heroes when Earth is caught in the middle of a galactic war between two alien races.
Directed by Anna Boden & Ryan Fleck. Starring Brie Larson, Samuel L. Jackson, Ben Mendelsohn, and Jude Law.

I think I'm hitting that point with MCU movies where even when they don't really connected to the rest of the MCU very strongly, I just feel tired watching them. Black Panther managed to be unique enough to push past that barrier, but this one mostly just feels like The Origin-est of All Origin Stories. There's not a single unexpected moment or turn in here. I feel like I've seen this movie at LEAST six times before. It's an all right movie in and of itself, I had an OK time watching it, but it would be better if it was like... the first movie I'd ever seen and I had nothing to compare it to. But I'm glad it exists. Representation is good.

How it entered my Flickchart:
Captain Marvel < John Dies at the End
Captain Marvel > Lincoln
Captain Marvel > How I Live Now
Captain Marvel > The Exorcism of Emily Rose
Captain Marvel < Ghost Ship
Captain Marvel < Ballet Shoes
Captain Marvel < Hustle & Flow
Captain Marvel > Runaway Jury
Captain Marvel > Code 46
Captain Marvel < Black Snake Moan

Final spot: #1630 out of 2932.

Us (2019)

IMDb plot summary: A family's serenity turns to chaos when a group of doppelgängers begins to terrorize them.
Directed by Jordan Peele. Starring Lupita Nyong'o, Winston Duke, Shahadi Wright Joseph, and Evan Alex.

I absolutely loved this from beginning to end. I'm not sure it's as culturally essential as Get Out was, but I think I enjoyed it more. I was slightly dissatisfied with Get Out's plot reveal, while a similar reveal in Us delighted me. It's terrifying and sad and an amazing balance of humor with horror and just beautifully done overall.

How it entered my Flickchart:
Us > Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
Us > Rock of Ages
Us > Breaking Away
Us > Kes
Us < Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2007)
Us < The Rocketeer
Us < A Quiet Place
Us > Mr. Smith Goes to Washington
Us > Another Woman
Us > Repulsion
Us > Speed

Final spot: #161 out of 2931.

Dangerous Liaisons (1988)

IMDb plot summary: A scheming widow and her manipulative ex-lover make a bet regarding the corruption of a recently married woman.
Directed by Stephen Frears. Starring Glenn Close, John Malkovich, Michelle Pfeiffer, and Swoosie Kurtz.

(Mild spoilers ahead.)

This has more than a touch of Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? about it, in that it's a powerplay between two horrendous people doing horrendous things. Here, though, I find it difficult to really engage with the two leads' battle for power because I find it so unpleasant to watch Malkovich's character abuse and assault and rape the women around him. I know we're supposed to know he's a terrible person, but I hated him so much at the end that even when he attempts some sort of redemption or garnering any genuine sympathy, I'm entirely cold to him. I find Close's ending far more compelling because, while she is a despicable Iago-style villain, I don't have to watch the immediate hurt and fear and panic she instills in people the way I did him.

All that being said, though, this film is cleverfully scripted, skillfully acted, and beautifully shot (seriously, every shot in the final 10 minutes is just gorgeous). There's a lot to like about it, and when I've distanced myself a bit emotionally from the ugliness I just watched, I suspect I'll appreciate it more for what it is. I suspect it will sit with me for awhile.

How it entered my Flickchart:
Dangerous Liaisons > Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
Dangerous Liaisons < Doctor Strange
Dangerous Liaisons < Death to Smoochy
Dangerous Liaisons > No eres tu, soy yo
Dangerous Liaisons > The Prestige
Dangerous Liaisons > Monsters and Men
Dangerous Liaisons > Good Time
Dangerous Liaisons > I Am Legend
Dangerous Liaisons < The Happening
Dangerous Liaisons > John Wick
Dangerous Liaisons > Film Stars Don't Die in Liverpool

Final spot: #1105 out of 2930.

The Cable Guy (1996)

IMDb plot summary: A lonely and mentally disturbed cable guy raised on television just wants a new friend, but his target, a designer, rejects him, with bad consequences.
Directed by Ben Stiller. Starring Jim Carrey, Matthew Broderick, Leslie Mann, and Jack Black.

I can definitely see why people hated this. It very carefully straddles the line between comedy and thriller, and it's really not until the latter third of the movie for me that it really settles into both of those. When it does settle, though, it got a few laughs out of me (I giggled a bunch near the very end at the guy whose cable goes out and he suddenly discovers the joy of books), and it also hits a decently creepy vibe. The genres finally mesh. The first two thirds are a little bit spottier -- there aren't actually that many jokes written in, and it seems to be mostly relying on the inherent funniness of Jim Carrey's "cringey goofball" shtick, which never sits well with me. But as the movie progresses, it's easier to see it as played for horror, and it kind of works. I am intrigued that two years later, Jim Carrey would star in The Truman Show, another movie about people's dependence on television -- though that movie is in my top 10. But this settles into something I can kind of get behind, though I can't really imagine wanting to rewatch it.

How it entered my Flickchart:
The Cable Guy > The Hangover
The Cable Guy < Doctor Strange
The Cable Guy < The Forest
The Cable Guy > Kung Fury
The Cable Guy > The Act of Killing
The Cable Guy < Guys and Dolls
The Cable Guy < Loving Vincent
The Cable Guy > Prometheus
The Cable Guy < Clueless
The Cable Guy > Corpse Bride
The Cable Guy < The Good, the Bad and the Ugly
Final spot: #1174 out of 2929, or 60%.

Major League (1989)

IMDb plot summary: The new owner of the Cleveland Indians puts together a purposely horrible team so they'll lose and she can move the team. But when the plot is uncovered, they start winning just to spite her.
Directed by David S. Ward. Starring Tom Berenger, Corbin Bernsen, Margaret Whitton, and James Gammon.

This is one of those movies that is exceptionally difficult for me to write about because it wasn't *bad* for me so much as a total nonentity. It hits so many familiar beats that I felt like I've seen this movie a hundred times before. They're all competently told, and it never really makes a misstep, but it never really steps outside the box either, and for a sports movie to win me over it really has to add something special. Not bad, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to forget it instantly.

How it entered my Flickchart:
Major League < The Misfits
Major League > The Matrix Reloaded
Major League < Hysteria
Major League < A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum
Major League < The Great Escape
Major League > In the Line of Fire
Major League > The Dinner Guest
Major League < Dr. Strangelove
Major League > Mystic Pizza
Major League < Deja Vu
Major League < On the Waterfront
Major League < Multiplicity

Final spot: #2121 out of 2928.

The Kindergarten Teacher (2018)

IMDb plot summary: A kindergarten teacher in New York becomes obsessed with one of her students whom she believes is a child prodigy.
Directed by Sara Colangelo. Starring Maggie Gyllenhaal, Parker Sevak, Gael García Bernal, and Ato Blankson-Wood.

(Spoilers ahead.)

As an arts teacher myself (though not for kindergarten-aged kids), I found this movie terrifying. Maggie Gyllenhaal is excellent as the epitome of a villain who is convinced she's doing the right thing, and with every new thing she'd do to overstep a boundary or increase her obsession in this child, I found myself tensing up. I appreciate how the movie empathizes with Gyllenhaal's restlessness but is never truly on her side, not even in the final moments of the movie where it does set up the possibility that restoring the child to his parents may, in fact, result in his artistic talent being overlooked. It's an uncomfortable and unsettling movie with some incredible acting.

How it entered my Flickchart:
The Kindergarten Teacher > Outbreak
The Kindergarten Teacher > We're No Angels
The Kindergarten Teacher > Breaking Away
The Kindergarten Teacher < Kes
The Kindergarten Teacher < The Fountain
The Kindergarten Teacher > Sabrina (1954)
The Kindergarten Teacher < Once
The Kindergarten Teacher < Trust
The Kindergarten Teacher < Welcome to Dongmakgol
The Kindergarten Teacher < Sita Sings the Blues
The Kindergarten Teacher < Footloose (1984)
The Kindergarten Teacher > American Psycho
Final spot: #319 out of 2927.

The Vanishing (1988)

IMDb plot summary: Rex and Saskia, a young couple in love, are on vacation. They stop at a busy service station and Saskia is abducted. After three years and no sign of Saskia, Rex begins receiving letters from the abductor.
Directed by George Sluizer. Starring Bernard-Pierre Donnadieu, Gene Bervoets, Johanna ter Steege, and Gwen Eckhaus.

(Spoilers ahead.)

While I totally dig the chilling ending to this movie, it's so very, very slow up until then, and most of its work goes into plot development rather than character development, where I really wish it had focused. I really love that it subverts the expected tropes by revealing the culprit fairly early on, but then it doesn't do nearly as much with it as I wish it had. Intriguing, but not captivating.

How it entered my Flickchart:
The Vanishing > Outbreak
The Vanishing < We're No Angels (1955)
The Vanishing < The Help
The Vanishing > Love Me Tonight (which I feel must accidentally have jumped up to this spot in the chart)
The Vanishing < Les Miserables (2012)
The Vanishing < Hopscotch
The Vanishing > Rushmore
The Vanishing > Deconstructing Harry
The Vanishing > Irma La Douce
The Vanishing > Mrs. Miniver
The Vanishing < Cat's Eye

Final spot: #1237 out of 2926.

Tea With the Dames (2018)

IMDb plot summary: Dames Judi Dench, Eileen Atkins, Joan Plowright, and Maggie Smith get together for tea to reminisce and discuss their acting careers.
Directed by Roger Michell.

This is the kind of documentary that I typically have the least interest in, taking a celebrity and just having them share their experiences and thoughts on whatever in front of the camera. The lack of a narrative journey ultimately leaves me dissatisfied. The four women here are charming and fairly interesting, and it's nice to see their interactions with each other, and it was extremely cool seeing their discussions juxtaposed with footage of their roles as younger actresses. But you never get the sense of true intimacy here. There's a definite guard up, an awareness of being on camera and of carefully phrasing everything. Maybe they phrase these things just as carefully in their everyday interactions, but in the end, it feels simply like a long celebrity interview, and less like a film that has anything to actually say, which makes it a slightly dull watch for me.

How it entered my Flickchart:
Tea With the Dames < Outbreak
Tea With the Dames > American Made
Tea With the Dames < The Preacher's Wife
Tea With the Dames > Zero Charisma
Tea With the Dames < Stand and Deliver
Tea With the Dames < A Girl of the Limberlost
Tea With the Dames > The Treasure of the Sierra Madre
Tea With the Dames > Our Paradise
Tea With the Dames > Star Wars Uncut
Tea With the Dames > Destry Rides Again
Tea With the Dames > Django Unchained

Final spot: #1966 out of 2925.