Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004)

IMDb plot summary: A group of misfits enter a Las Vegas dodgeball tournament in order to save their cherished local gym from the onslaught of a corporate health fitness chain.
Directed by Rawson Marshall Thurber. Starring Vince Vaughn, Christine Taylor, Ben Stiller, and Rip Torn.

Ugh. OK, I chuckled once or twice (the verbal sparring between Ben Stiller and Vince Vaughn had some clever lines, and I liked the concept that one of the kids in the team didn't remember the pirate) but that was about it, and it was way overwhelmed by the cringey-ness of the rest of it. Particularly its treatment of the three female characters. Having your male and female leads and start off with him immediately undercutting her professionalism with creepy remarks about her body is not a good way to make me root for that character. Like it seems like a small thing but this movie is just infested with the idea that women are either trophies to be won (alllllmost subverted nicely at the end but then, no, he had to get the girl after all) or a punchline about how funny it is when women are unattractive. If the rest of the movie were funnier, it could compensate better for this fatal flaw, but as it is... egh.

How it entered my Flickchart:
Dodgeball < Captain Fantastic
Dodgeball < Twist of Faith
Dodgeball < Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm
Dodgeball > Men in Black II
Dodgeball > Hollywoodland
Dodgeball > Chicken Little
Dodgeball > Keith
Dodgeball > Cold Mountain
Dodgeball < Stuart Little 2
Dodgeball < The Man Who Knew Too Much (1956)
Dodgeball > Love in the Afternoon

Final spot: #2501 out of 2847.

Live Free or Die Hard (2007)

IMDb plot summary: John McClane and a young hacker join forces to take down master cyber-terrorist Thomas Gabriel in Washington D.C.
Directed by Len Wiseman. Starring Bruce Willis, Timothy Olyphant, Justin Long, and Maggie Q.

Well, this is pretty dumb and not terribly fun. At least Die Hard 3 was enjoyably stupid.

How it entered my Flickchart:
Live Free or Die Hard < The Lion in Winter (2003)
Live Free or Die Hard < The Goonies
Live Free or Die Hard > Live Free or Die Hard
Live Free or Die Hard < Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus
Live Free or Die Hard < The Host (2013)
Live Free or Die Hard > Employee of the Month
Live Free or Die Hard > John Q.
Live Free or Die Hard < The Lodger (2009)
Live Free or Die Hard < On a Clear Day You Can See Forever
Live Free or Die Hard < Daddy Day Care
Live Free or Die Hard > Fever Pitch (2005)

Final spot: #2422 out of 2846.

Naked (1993)

IMDb plot summary: Parallel tales of two sexually obsessed men, one hurting and annoying women physically and mentally, one wandering around the city talking to strangers and experiencing dimensions of life.
Directed by Mike Leigh. Starring David Thewlis, Lesley Sharp, Katrin Cartlidge, and Greg Cruttwell.

This is kind of a masterpiece of an awful movie. And I don't mean awful as in badly made, but awful as in being wildly unpleasant and painful to watch. Every character here is in just a flood of deep seated existential pain and leaves me deeply saddened for them. But it's masterfully done. David Thewlis in particular is stunning in the lead role, with his snappy comebacks and smart remarks for everything anyone says and his rare, rare moments of letting that guard down. But really all the cast is phenomenal, and it hurts to watch people -- even not-very-good people -- go through the agony they feel just... being alive. This is one that's kind of tough to put into words because it doesn't lend itself to analysis for me as much as it does to an emotional response, but it's a pretty great movie, and the only reason it might not be ranked all that highly is because it's tough imagining I'd ever want to rewatch it.

How it entered my Flickchart:
Naked > The Other Boleyn Girl
Naked < Upside Down
Naked > Arthur Christmas
Naked > The Ten Commandments (1956)
Naked > The Abyss
Naked > Say Anything...
Naked < Southside with You
Naked > Titanic
Naked > The Ghost and Mrs. Muir
Naked < Fury (1936)

Final spot: #739 out of 2845.

Tulpan (2008)

IMDb plot summary: On the steppes of Kazakhstan, Asa lives in a yurt with his sister Samal, her husband Ondas, and their three children. Asa, a dreamer who's slight of build and recently finished with a stint in the Russian Navy, tries to establish a life on the steppes. He, his friend Boni, and Ondas call on Tulpan, the only single girl in the area.
Directed by Sergei Dvortsevoy. Starring Askhat Kuchencherekov, Topelbergen Baisakalov, Samal Yeslyamova, and Ondas Besikbasov.

This movie moves very slowly, with lots of slice-of-life scenes of people examining sheep or kids just running around and playing. It fits pretty well overall into the story, though. I don't have a lot of strong feelings about this one, and therefore not actually that much to say about it. I'm not totally sold on the ending, but overall it's decent.

How it entered my Flickchart:
Tulpan < The Fighter
Tulpan > Chocolat
Tulpan > The High and the Mighty
Tulpan > Trading Places
Tulpan > American Hustle
Tulpan < Amazing Grace
Tulpan > Fargo
Tulpan > Julie & Julia
Tulpan > The 'Burbs
Tulpan < Killing Season

Final spot: #1472 out of 2844.

My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 (2016)

IMDb plot summary: A Portokalos family secret brings the beloved characters back together for an even bigger and Greeker wedding.
Directed by Kirk Jones. Starring Nia Vardalos, John Corbett, Michael Constantine, and Lainie Kazan.

I barely remember the first movie, except I remember finding it fairly likable. I did not find this one quite as likable, and I'm trying to parse out why. Maybe it's because I'm not sure they had *new* jokes in this movie so much as just the same jokes, again. (I kept remembering the original jokes when they repeated them here.) It also suffers from the frequent problem with comedy sequels, in that the background cast of characters that drove a lot of the comedy takes over and becomes responsible for the emotional tone of the story as well. There are zero stakes in this movie because it's too busy just letting the characters be wacky. At least the first time around there WAS a clear conflict and things at stake. They toy around with it here but never actually land on a center to the movie. It's unfortunately one of those sequels that I was so unimpressed by that it makes it me wonder if I overvalued the original and if it wasn't that good either.

Oh, and also it gives me quite a bit of introvert anxiety. This family would go from annoying to nightmarish for me. No wonder that child wants to get away.

How it entered my Flickchart:
My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 < Hitchcock
My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 < Passion (1996)
My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 > To Kill a King
My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 > The Number 23
My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 < In Cold Blood
My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 < Tiramisu
My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 < The Dark Side of the Moon
My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 > The Stepford Wives (2004)
My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 > Antz
My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 < Annie (1982)

Final spot: #2293 out of 2843.

Lady Bird (2017)

IMDb plot summary: In 2002, an artistically inclined seventeen-year-old girl comes of age in Sacramento, California.
Directed by Greta Gerwig. Starring Saoirse Ronan, Laurie Metcalf, Tracy Letts, and Lucas Hedges.

I went into this movie really, really ready to love it. And then I ran into an unexpected wall. I think coming-of-age stories in some way only work if you have a point of connection with the character coming of age, and as much as Lady Bird apparently resonates with my entire generation... she doesn't with me. Every other character in her world does. I would instantly watch a movie all about her mother, or her best friend, or her first boyfriend, or any of the teachers at her school, or the snobby girl who becomes her friend. But in this world of interesting and nuanced characters, Lady Bird seems... flat. I have always felt a great deal of distance from Greta Gerwig as an actress, a practiced insincerity that completely cuts me off from her emotionally. I feel like this same distance surrounds the central character. And when you don't buy into the central character in this type of movie, it gets really difficult to give a crap about their coming-of-age arc when really you just want to know how Lady Bird's parents got together or what happens when her gay friend does come out to his parents. I guess we can confirm that Greta Gerwig and I are on two totally different wavelengths. It saddens me, because I so badly wanted to love this and at best I can credit it for a great cast of side characters.

2.5 stars.

How it entered my Flickchart:
Lady Bird > Hitchcock
Lady Bird < Mad Max: Fury Road
Lady Bird < The Majestic
Lady Bird < Nothing in Common
Lady Bird < True Grit (1969)
Lady Bird > The Whole Nine Yards
Lady Bird < The Manchurian Candidate (2004)
Lady Bird > Dirty Dancing
Lady Bird > The Switch
Lady Bird > Splash
Lady Bird > The Matador

Final spot: #1355 out of 2842.

25th Hour (2002)

IMDb plot summary: Cornered by the DEA, convicted New York drug dealer Montgomery Brogan reevaluates his life in the 24 remaining hours before facing a seven-year jail term.
Directed by Spike Lee. Starring Edward Norton, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Barry Pepper, and Rosario Dawson.

I knew next to nothing about this film before I started watching it, but it's kind of stunning. It's a whole different angle to the crime drama genre, which I too often feel tells the same exact story over and over again. This story not only takes place during a very unexplored window of time (between the arrest and the prison) but also tells its story in a very personal and beautiful way. The final 10 minutes or so are very emotionally moving. Definitely a movie that took me by surprise, but it's pretty great.

4 stars.

How it entered my Flickchart:
25th Hour > Happy Christmas
25th Hour > Man on Wire
25th Hour < Black Panther
25th Hour < Whale Rider
25th Hour > The Pirates of Penzance
25th Hour < Jack Goes Boating
25th Hour > CBGB
25th Hour > The Muppets
25th Hour > Hawking
25th Hour > Sanjuro

Final spot: #579 out of 2841.

Molly's Game (2017)

IMDb plot summary: The true story of Molly Bloom, an Olympic-class skier who ran the world's most exclusive high-stakes poker game and became an FBI target.
Directed by Aaron Sorkin. Starring Jessica Chastain, Idris Elba, Kevin Costner, and Michael Cera.

No review for this one... because I didn't write it immediately and then I forgot most of the movie a week later. So that doesn't bode particularly well. I think it was fine?

How it entered my Flickchart:
Molly's Game > Happy Christmas
Molly's Game < Mad Max: Fury Road
Molly's Game < L'atalante
Molly's Game < The Pursuit of Happyness
Molly's Game < The Road
Molly's Game > V/H/S
Molly's Game < The Matador
Molly's Game > Crocodile Dundee
Molly's Game > Bully
Molly's Game > How Do You Know
Molly's Game > Splash

Final spot: #1354 out of 2840.

Junior (1994)

IMDb plot summary: As part of a fertility research project, a male scientist agrees to carry a pregnancy in his own body.
Directed by Ivan Reitman. Starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Danny DeVito, Emma Thompson, and Frank Langella.

When I saw somebody had gifted me this for my movie challenge, I was *not* excited. I anticipated it being awful and ridiculous and full of ugly stereotypes of women. To my surprise, it was just... kinda flat and cheesy. Which, again, isn't good, but it's so much better than I thought it would be. Feels more like goofy dad jokes than anything else. I think I have to attribute that to Arnold Schwarzenegger's surprisingly understated performance. The script does call for him to say and do some ridiculous things, but he underplays it in a way that seems almost... subtle? Maybe I can chalk this up to him not being a terribly good comedic actor, but this movie would have been 10 times worse if we had had, say, a Jim Carrey style comedian in here who was going to hype up every little line and action and make it a larger-than-life performance. Schwarzenegger's milder demeanor means that none of the jokes get pushed TOO hard (even if they also never land) and there's a bit of sympathy for the character, too, since he seems more like a normal person than anything else. It's not a GOOD movie or anything, I didn't laugh, but it's much more inoffensive than I anticipated. Yay?

How it entered my Flickchart:
Junior < Must Love Dogs
Junior < Cries and Whispers
Junior > Stuart Little 2
Junior < Crumb
Junior > Lockdown
Junior < Penelope
Junior < Silverado
Junior < Show Boat (1951)
Junior > Giant
Junior > A Prairie Home Companion
Junior > Fist Fight
Junior < Enter the Void

Final spot: #2386 out of 2839.